CrashArtist

I think of you [every day] so I can cling to all the pieces that you've given me [that you left behind] they make the thought of losing you less terrifying [except that they don't] they make me wish I had never let you go [but I did] all I have are pieces of you now [like the] baseball you begged me for [I would always like basketball better] arm around my shoulder [I couldn't stop imagining kissing your hand] laugh on my neck [it still smells like cheetos] smile in the small space between my collarbone [why the fuck didn't I kiss you] hug on my stomach [those monkey bars had it coming] fingers on my face [I swear I felt

You used to call me your little contortionist because of all the ways that I would bend to your will I learned to think of it as one of those terms of endearment because it stung, but it was supposed to mean that you loved me or something I would spin round and round with my hands up in the air because it was the only way I could keep from falling off the pedestal you put me on it was a long way down, and the only thing I would hurt was my heart or my head whichever of the two that seemed to be making those decision things I told you about that once, the spinning to keep from falling because I thought it was beautiful I wanted to

I wish I could catch all those words you deserve to tell you just how perfect you are but every time I reach up all I end up finding are ordinary things                   Lovely                             Beautiful                                           Forever And I'll wish that I could make all those ordinary words extraordinary just so that  maybe they could right for you but it would take far more than just words no matter how extraordinary to ever manage something like describing you

Dear ______, I promise that I'll pick up the pieces when they all fall apart and to be your glue when you try to put them all back together as long as you don't get me everywhere and get us stuck to all that clutter I'll be the immovable object if you want to be my unstoppable force I'll be that touch you need when the tears won't stop falling and I'll give you happy endings when you don't see any at all I promise to be your light if you ever find yourself a tunnel and I'll make you my only sunshine if you promise to take away the dark Love,

I remember My lesson on death how it made my body weak under it's weight and the beautiful bloodied face that came with it ------------------------------------------------------------- My lessons on disappointment through a father whose "I'm sorry's" I never felt were meant for me and whose "I Love You's" were worth as much as the paper they were discarded upon ---------------------------------- My lesson on human nature from when a stepbrother I never really got a chance to know threw himself from the fifth floor window in the living room of my childhood apartment ten feet from the wall that divided his suicide from my breakfast

I may never meet you share with you or feel with you but I will think of you and wonder if you do some of the same things that I do I'll wonder if you have some of the same reasons that I do -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Passion Hope Freedom -------------------- and I'll think of everything that keeps us apart ---------------------------------- Oceans Land People ------------------------- I'll want to ask you questions so I can think on everything that holds us all together and last of all this I'll want to tell you that I love you because of everything that you are becau

Where it [counts] I am superhero and can do all those things that made saturday morning cartoons worth watching I am invincible because I fucking say so I bring justice without death and all those things worth having without consequence I teach small children about a world made to fight for where nightmares are made of lessons and people are worth saving ---------------------- Where it [actually matters] People are fucked up and do fucked up things And saving has no meaning without the desire to be saved And no I am not INVINCIBLE  

Today I'm made of coke and teen angst I'll be passionate and indecisive and play all the teen games I'll watch as I'm watched and do whatever to make you stare I'll flirt and lead you on pretend like I'm original if that's in now anyways ---------------------------- Tomorrow I'll be made of new and shit I shouldn't hear It'll taste like fresh and smell like pavement The kind that gets [add action here] ten times a day ---------------------------------------------------------------- By the end of the week I'll be ready to be made of different so I can get it over with and start all over